Jealousy
I've been jealous lately. But it's not the typical jealousy that you'd expect.
Whenever my boyfriend is away, he has a lot of free time to go out and hang with his coworkers, after work or on the weekends. I'm glad he's able to have a good time away from home. But at the same time I get jealous of that.
When he comes back home, he's not in a good mood a lot. He has a lot of stuff he has to do at home. He has to work his day job and then go work his restaurant job. We really are unable to go out and spend a lot of time together because of situations or obligations that come up.
I'm jealous of the fact that he is able to do new things and spend lots of time with his coworkers when he's away and he's not able to do the same with me here. I've tried to not let it bother me at first, but it's just something that keeps irritating my head. Is that really a fair situation for me in this relationship?
And then there's the question of why can't I just go off and do something else without him? It's much harder for me to let go and go out without him. And the fact that my friends are far away don't exactly help either.
We've always had this time issue in our relationship and I've always had to decide whether or not I was willing to put up with it. I always thought that he was worth the sacrifie and that I would be able to live through this sacrifice also... if it were to get better.
So this same question keeps popping up in my head over and over and I always tell myself the same thing... I always hope that it will get better.
But so far it really hasn't.
This really makes me sad. I don't want to lose hope that one day we will both be able to be happy with the time and the space and the relationship that we want from each other. But it just gets harder. And when he's not here, and I go help his family at the restaurant, I miss him even more and I'm upset at myself for even getting jealous of the time he gets.
I really don't know if I'm being unreasonable for feeling this way. He tells me I am being unreasonable, but if I am, then why does it continue to bother me so much?
I need help in finding some perspective about all this. | 
So then I ask her, "Is that supposed to be a hint?"
